120 Band Uniforms for sale. Purple jacket, pink pants, and drum major style hat (large Q-tip style). Picture of a marching aardvark on back of the jacket. Free. Will deliver. If interested, write email@example.com.
I am looking for a marching band arrangement of Stand By Your Man, my superintendent’s favorite song. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org.
Does anyone have three scores for Respighi’s Pines of Rome? I need them for contest. If so, e-mail treyreely@ in_my_dreams.net.
Director looking for a position where band director is paid as much as head football coach, receives approval for all budget requests, and can rehearse marching band in an indoor practice facility. If such a position exists, contact J.P. at email@example.com.
Official Nigerian Minster of Music wants to deposit a million dollars into your school bank akkount. Send $1000 tranzaction fee to: The Most Distinkwished Musikal Profezzer Nigel Kos-wabbe, 1 Tikumbe Alley, Lagos, Nigeria.
Slightly used trumpet for sale. Only been played at school. Price negotiable. Child negotiable. Contact Myrtle at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Marching Contest. Every band gets a trophy. Every child gets a trophy. Mail a trophy to your friends. For more information contact us at email@example.com.
Great fundraiser!!!!!! Make over $5000 in one day!!!!! It’s the easiest fundraiser you will ever do!!!!!!! Contact Sally at yeah_right@deja_vu.com.
Used trombone for sale – slide slightly damaged, goes to third position and then makes a sharp right turn. Best offer; firstname.lastname@example.org.
Tryouts for the University of Northern Arkansas Cloggerette line will be Saturday, April 26 at 1:00 p.m. on the campus of U.N.A. at Rose Bud.
Bands wanted for parade in historic Goobertown, Arkansas. Free package of peanuts for every four paying participants. Travel packages from $39.42.
Used reeds of all types and brands for sale. See our products at American-recyclingproject.com.
House sitter needed for 100-year-old retired band director on weekdays from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Well-behaved. Mainly rocks in rocking chair mumbling “that’s B-natural second finger, not B-flat first finger.”
Fifth Annual Going-Out-of-Business Sale. All items must go! Contact email@example.com.
You are invited to a faculty recital of Harry Strangelove, professor of glass harmonica at Cogburn College. It will begin at 2:00 on Sunday, April 27. He will be performing his composition Poor Richard: A Setting of Ben Franklin’s Almanac.
Thirty-member marching accordion group needs performing venues next fall. Will march at halftimes and in exhibition at marching contests. Contact Lawrence at polka_stud@ welk.com.
Scholarships are available for membership in the Pokanoket University Marching Pilgrims. Contact firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.
Contrabass clarinet stolen. Please be on the lookout for a very tall man in a trenchcoat selling stolen instruments. If found, call police, then e-mail joe@ unusual-thefts.net.
Make money at home puting instruments together. Contact retire_in_ email@example.com.
School district looking for director to teach 6th grade beginners, 7th grade intermediate, 8th grade advanced band, senior high band, junior choir, senior choir, and two fine arts classes and sponsor the chess team. If interested, please contact youmustbecrazy@small school.net.