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Instant Classics

Trey Reely | August 2009

    With the development of music software anyone can start a publishing company. I am no exception, and this month I am unveiling the 2009-10 concert band catalog for my new company, Sham Music.

Beginning Band – Grade 0.37
Wal-Mart March (Aisle 1) by Samuel Walton. Watch beginners’ eyes light up at the trio as they antiphonally chant “Always Saves” and “Roll-Back Prices.”

4’33” by John Cage, arranged by Jeff Greene. A difficult but rewarding work that requires students to remain still for four minutes and 33 seconds. An easier arrangement titled 1’01” for less mature bands is also available.

Amazonian Folk Song Melody by Ralph Nissan is based on a melody found inscribed on a poison dart that was found in an ancient pottery jar on an excavation site in the ruins of Tuppawaro, Brazil.

Beginning Band – Grade 0.81
Crimmon’s Landfill by Fred Sanford perfectly describes the towering, majestic landfill in Crimmon’s County, Kentucky. This earthy work portrays all the excitement of debris being crushed, pushed, and reformed into a mountainous masterpiece.

Aleatoric Deception by Van McMinty. The perfect piece for that once-in-a-lifetime group of students who could not play a correct rhythm or hit a correct harmonic if its life depended on it. The music is so random that all the notes and rhythms a student could play are correct. It’s impossible to mess up on this piece.

ADHD March by Shorty A. Tenshunspan. Keep the attention of even your least-focused students with this rousing march that lasts only 15 seconds.

Young Band – Grade 1.47
    Parade on a Whole Note by Dave Oldwell. This piece has approximately 18 different time signatures containing nothing but whole notes. Students learn unfamiliar time signatures like 5/4 ,  6/4 , 7/4 , 8/4 , 9/4 , 10/4 , all the way up to 18/4 .

Palindrome March by Eve Level. This dazzling composition sounds the same whether played forward or backward.

Stars and Snipes Forever by J.J. Jingleheimer Smith. A hilarious collection of everyone’s favorite camp songs: “99 Bottles of (non-alcoholic) Beer on the Wall,” “Bingo,” “Father Abraham,” “Old Lady Leary,” and “Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts.”

Snoring by Rick Wagner. Your little comedians will love wheezing and snorting on this creative variation of Foster’s “Beautiful Dreamer.”

Young Band – Grade 2
Generic Salute by Bill Smith. Do you have a special anniversary you want to celebrate? Just make up your own title and dedication and you’re ready to go. This music works for any special occasion.

On the Wings of a Lightly-Yellow-Spotted-One-Winged-Marsupial Mayfly by musician and entomologist Gil Grissom beautifully describes the majestic flight of this rare insect from the Outback.

My Chaconna by Gus Saquilidge is a stupendous mingling of Holst’s Chaconne and The Knack’s 1979 hit “My Sharona” It’s a treatment like you’ve never heard before.

Concert Band – Grade 3
Morgue and Mindy, arranged by Gus Mauler. This ingenious combination of Bach’s Come, Sweet Death and the “Mork and Mindy” theme will make everyone happy, from the serious musician to the sedentary couch potato.

Kindertotenlieder by Gustave Mauler, arranged by Grimm Weeper. This song is perfect for any elementary or recruiting concert.

A Salute to All Human Beings Everywhere, Dead or Alive by Hugh Mann is a tribute honoring everyone who has ever existed. Audiences everywhere will feel a tingle up their spines as they hear this piece written just for them and their ancestors.

Symphonic Band – Grades 4-5

Echoes of an Echo’s Echo by Rhea Peat. This haunting tune is based on the lonely call of the Appalachian mountain goat.

More So Than Monique by Franklin Houndstooth is a jazzy take on Morceau’s Symphonique and provides a refreshing and jazzy new arrangement for your outstanding trombone or euphonium soloist.

Seven-Eight Turnabout by Smythe Claudeson. The whole piece is in 7/8  except for three measures that are in 4/4.

Fantasy on a Song My Grandma Used to Hum While She Rocked Me but I Can’t Remember What It’s Called and I Can’t Ask Her Because She Died by Fred Handle. There won’t be a dry eye in the house after the performance of this touching work.

Dream Band – Grade 6
Through the Eye of the Boll Weevil by G.W. Carver is a salute to the Boll Weevil Monument in Enterprise, Alabama. Experience the majesty of this 13-foot-tall monument.

Of Sailors and Nails by Frank McBetters. This brilliantly amazing work is sure to be a standard in the repertoire. Audiences will be enthralled as 60 hammers and 300 nails are used by students to construct a boat during the performance.