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Band Directors’ Letters to Santa

Trey Reely | December 2011

Dear Santa,
Would you mind if we skipped the Christmas parade this year?
        Respectfully yours,

Dear Santa,
Would you like to buy a bucket of cookie dough from my band? It makes a great gift. By the way, the cookies you devoured at my house last Christmas were made from band cookie dough.
        Hope to hear from you soon.

Dear Santa,
When you give out instruments this year, please stick with known brands. I would be glad to send you a list of acceptable instruments for the students in my program. The woodwinds your elves make have holes that are a little too close together.

Dear Santa,
Would you be able to guest conduct my band on our next holiday concert? I thought you could conduct The 12 Days of Christmas or maybe Jingle Bell Rock if 12 Days is too exhausting.
        Happy Holidays!

Dear Santa,
Do you have any openings in management? I need a summer job. I would be a good manager – I’m used to working with short people.

Dear Santa,
We hope to see you at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. We still have $5000 to go. Can you help?
        Desperately yours,

Dear Santa,
Can you stop making drums for children? The world has enough already.
        Very truly yours,

Dear Santa,
Are you familiar with the song Carol of the Bells? Does hearing it over and over again give you a migraine like it does me?
        Jingle all the way,

Dear Santa,
Did Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer really guide your sleigh on a foggy Christmas eve? Does he even exist or is he the result of crass commercialism?

Dear Santa,
Please put a lump of coal in the stocking of every student in my third period class.
        Sincerely yours,

Dear Santa,
Please send me a drummer who likes to practice keyboard percussion also.
            Take care,

Dear Santa,
Did you know Frosty the Snowman has his own Myspace page? Don’t worry, he’ll never be as popular as you, Myspace or no Myspace.
            Your fan,

Dear Santa,
Do you get any royalties from Christmas movies and songs? If not, I have a cousin Louie who is a lawyer.

Dear Santa,
I want another week of rehearsal time before contest.
        Yours truly,

Dear Santa,
No need to send me anything this year – I have a great group of band students, and that’s enough.
        Merry Christmas!