It is never too soon to start thinking about football season. As you begin considering music for next year, also think about how you can build school spirit. Maybe these ideas will help.
Long gone are the days when football cheers were mini-masterpieces of poetry recited during the maelstrom of athletic mayhem. Whatever happened to the classic “Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate? Go-o-o-o-o Raiders!” Or how about the aerobic “Lean to the left! Lean to the right! Raiders! Raiders! Fight! Fight! Fight!”
Cheers of yesteryear were not politically correct or for those of great sensitivity; they were certainly not particularly kind to the other team. Today rivals often hug each other after a hard-fought contest. Whatever happened to the truly competitive, take-no-prisoners approach from players and fans alike? Old cheers used to add insult to injury and stir competitive fire:
“Big dog, little dog, floppy-eared pup,
Come on Comets, let’s beat them up!”
“Hit ‘em in the upper lip! Hit ‘em in the jaw!”
Put ‘em in the hospital! Rah! Rah! Rah!”
“Arizona desert, Texas cactus,
We play your team just for practice!”
“Pork chop, pork chop, greasy, greasy,
We’ll beat your team easy, easy!”
“Blood makes the grass grow, Kill! Kill!” (Repeat ad nauseum.)
“Stomp ‘em! Stomp ‘em! Whadduya think those cleats are for?! (Repeat ad nauseum.)
Some early cheers would make a Mensa member proud. My high school band director once related how a very intelligent high school friend of his would yell:
“Pursue them! Pursue them!
Make them relinquish the ball!”
To which I subsequently made up the equivalent:
“Eradicate them, eradicate them!
Make them transfer the brown, spherical object!”
Cheers from the old days even expressed moral values:
“Rootie Toot Toot, Rootie Toot Toot,
We’re the girls from the Institute.
We don’t smoke. We don’t chew.
We don’t go with boys who do.
(long pause; then, said to the tune of “nanny nanny boo-boo”)
We ain’t got no boyfriends!”
However, some cheers of yesteryear crossed the line. I remember going to Auburn University games in the 1970s and not being able to cheer along with all of them. One of them ended with “Give ‘em @#$%^ you War $%^&# Eagle!” I had never heard that many people swear at one time. Whenever we lost (and that was often), I thought it might have some sort of moral retribution. Firing the coach might not have been the answer; maybe they just needed to sanitize the cheers.
Then we had cheers that were not cheers:
“Gimme a ‘B’! Gimme another ‘B’! (Repeat four more times) Whaduyuh get?!” To answer, we would rapidly move our index fingers between our lower and upper lips.
Some cheers would even address the other fans:
“We got spirit yes we do, we got spirit how about you?” If the other side did not respond or were the first to quit repeating it, we won. One creative riposte we learned was “Two, four, six, eight, we got more than you can take!”
I’m surprised that the latest educational trends have not seeped into our cheers, mandated by overzealous administrators:
“Block that schedule! Block that schedule!”
“Score a touchdown, mighty team!
Every point boosts our self-esteem!”
“Spread the ball, please be kind,
We want no player left behind!”
Then there are the cheers we would like use (but can’t) when the team is having a dismal season, suffering game after game of futility:
“That’s all right, that’s okay,
We’re gonna lose it anyway!”
“Fumble, interception, muff, and gaff!
The real action starts when we play at half!”
“Lassie, Benji, Rin Tin Tin!
The score’s so bad, put the trombones in!”
“Run the clock! Run the clock! Tick, tick, tick!
Finish the dumb game before we get sick!”
(To the other team.) “Chicken leg, chicken leg, boneless wing,
Come on Bears, use the second string!”
“Coyote, fox, wildcat, jackal!
Come on Wildcats, let’s make a tackle!”
“Don’t fret, fans, when the Tiger team chokes.
The team may lose, but the band still stokes!”
You may try interjecting some of these cheers at next year’s football games to bide the time until halftime, when there is really something to cheer about.
