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The Best of 2017

Trey Reely | December 2017


 
    I thought I would join in on the year-end tradition many outlets have of reviewing what was the best about the preceding year. Here are my personal bests.
    Best New Turn of Phrase. When instructing brass players, instead of saying “buzz the mouthpiece,” which might result in too much firmness in the lips, say “play the mouthpiece.”
    Best Teaching Discovery I Should Have Already known Without Being Told. If a percussionist has a hard time playing suspended cymbal with yarn mallets that have fiberglass shafts, switch to mallets with the lighter rattan shafts.
    Best New Teaching Tip Discovered by an Assistant Director and Not Found in Any Book that We Know Of. On clarinet, alternate quickly between Bb and Bn by using the third right hand side key or between Bb and C by using the fourth right-hand side key.
    Funniest Television Scene That Only a Brass Player Would Love. On his truTV show The Carbonaro Effect, magician Michael Carbonaro takes a trumpet lesson and has condensation exiting his trumpet in a seemingly endless stream, confounding his unsuspecting trumpet teacher.
    Best Old Joke of the Day. The Purple Ping Pong Ball joke. Too long to recite here.
    Best Worst Timing. Due to a last-minute illness, I had 30 minutes on the day of concert contest to teach a trombone player who was used to playing third part how to play the second part. He was called out for random drug testing right after we sat down in my office.
    Best Yellowed Oldie Rescued from the Music Library. Romanesque by James Swearingen.
    Best Back-Up Plan. I had a tenor sax player with rather erratic attendance so I switched another player over to play with her. She was absent the day of concert contest with strep throat.
    Best Parent Question. “Does my son stink at drums?”
    Best Oldie Purchased This Year. Instant Concert by Harold Walters.
    Best Piece by a Veteran Composer Whose Music I Have Never Played Before for No Particularly Good Reason. Pierre LaPlante’s Songs of the Plains.
    Best Oldie Television Score. Earle Hagen’s The Andy Griffith Show.
    Best New Television Score. A Series of Unfortunate Events by Thomas Newman.
    Best Oldie Added to My iPhone. Brother Louie by Hot Chocolate. How did I ever forget about this one?
    Best Drama. My agony after seeing that over 90 percent of my school computer files had been kidnapped by ransomware. I didn’t buy them back – it would only encourage more crime.
    Best Lesson Learned the Hard Way. Back up all computer files regularly.
    Best Award I Never Thought I Would Win. The Homecoming Door Decoration Contest.
    Best Love Scene. The emotional parting of two students in our school hallway who were not going to see each other for two whole class periods in a row.
    Best Concert Moments. My mom playing The Typewriter with my band on our awards concert and at a Conway Community Band concert.
    Best Humorous Novelty Song My Band Performed. Mouthpiece Mania by Ware S. Mahorn (note the clever composer name).
    Best Practical Tip. Buy a big roll of disposable plastic bags from a local cleaners and use them to cover uniforms on trips.
    Best New-To-Me Conducting Tip. Experiment conducting 6/8 time with three side-to-side gestures rather than the traditional reverse J: the Smile (beat appears at the bottom while the rebound comes on the third and sixth beat of the subdivision), the Straight Line (simple side to side motion), and the Frown (downbeats on each corner of the frown). (From The Conductor’s Companion, GIA)
    Best Annoying Use of Technology. Frequent texts and emails from administrators outside of school hours or when they are out of- town and faculty should be enjoying their time at school without them.
    Best New Country Song On my iPhone. No One performed by The Voice winner Sundance Head.
    Best Movie Score. Hidden Figures. It is one of only two new movies I saw this year.
    Best Movie Score (Runner-Up). Wonder Woman This was the second.
    Best Post-Halloween Surprise. A beginning trombone player tried to play with plastic vampire teeth in his mouth.
    Best Oldie Marching Band Stands Tune. Seven Nation Army arranged by Jay Dawson (Arrangers Publishing). 
    Best Ending to a Day of Unfortunate Events. After a long day with many mishaps, I had a drummer run off with some boy after our football game, triggering a city-wide search.
    Best Display of Previously Learned Knowledge. I had a second-year band student who had played trumpet at another school but wanted to quit the second day of class. He said he had already learned all that one needed to play trumpet. 
    Best Moment of Confusion. I told my first-year drum major that at the next marching contest we would exit straight to the end zone after a four-count-90 right. She looked at me like she was confused. I said it again. Still confused, she asked me, “What’s an end zone?”